These are my essays. I found out today that I have an interview next week, so we're crossing our fingers!
The application asked me to describe myself, my home, my life, etc.
I’m
not sure where to start because I never thought I’d be here. I never thought I
would need a service dog, I never thought I’d be disabled. I was always a very
active, involved, and busy person. I did a lot of community service, was very
involved in theater and music, and even served as the mascot of my university. I
kept my grades up and was the typical twenty something student. After
graduating from college, I was having trouble finding a job, so
I took jobs working at a camp and then at a charity haunted house. I
ended up having to leave the job at the haunted house a week early because I
was very sick. That was the beginning of my illness.
No
one knows why people get POTS, but one commonality between most patients is
some kind of illness or trauma, that could have been mine. Unfortunately, my
POTS didn’t initially present as is typical. I started with abdominal pains,
which even after months of testing and procedures we couldn’t find the cause
for. At this time, I was working and
going to school at to get another degree. I was working
through the discomfort and loving my job and my classes. Over this period of
time though, I also had several nondescript symptoms like dizziness, headaches,
and severe fatigue. As a last resort, my doctor sent me to a cardiologist to
see if they would be able to find something. He did. By the time I left the
cardiologist I had a working diagnosis of dysautonomia, which with a tilt test
and heart monitor was confirmed a few weeks later. While I was grateful to have
a diagnosis, POTS is known to extremely difficult to treat.
Since being
diagnosed, my condition has deteriorated. I went from being a healthy young
adult to having trouble getting around. I had to leave my job at Apple and
leave school because I couldn’t safely drive alone and the physical demands of
walking and standing were getting to be too much for me. I never thought I'd be here. I never thought that at age
twenty-six I'd be sitting in my room afraid to go down the stairs because I
might pass out. I never thought I'd be afraid of falling in the shower, because
the hot water and raising my arms to wash my hair make me dizzy. I never
thought I'd drink ensures to make sure I get enough nutrients everyday because
I'm too nauseous for real food. I never thought I'd buy a helmet to wear to prevent more concussions or a wheelchair to prevent me from fainting in public. I never thought I'd be worried about my hair
falling out in chunks. I never thought I'd go from being the over involved
overachiever I was, to spending all day everyday in my bed at home. I never thought I'd leave work for disability at age 25 or have my first heart attack at 26. I never
thought that I'd be the girl who sees her doctors more often than her friends.
And I never thought I'd be the girl who is stuck in a body that is holding her
back from doing the things she loves. I never thought I would be here, but I
am.
I am very grateful for the
things I do have though. My family is extremely supportive and helpful to me. I
have a nice house to live in, my own room, and financially I’m stable. Although
I can’t work outside the home, I spend time working on crafts at home and I’m
thinking about starting an Etsy site to sell them online. I play World of
Warcraft as a social outlet and entertainment and keep up with friends online
when I can’t get out. While all of these things help me significantly, its not
the same as being able to get in the car and go visit a friend or being able to
just go to the grocery when I need something. I miss being able to work, to get
out of the house everyday, to have the freedom to go where I want. I hate being
so dependant on other people, its not who I am.
Accepting life's limitations
was never something I was comfortable with. I've always been a vibrant girl
with the gumption to do what I set my mind to. That is why now that POTS is
holding me back, I'm at a loss. I am doing everything the doctors are telling
me to do. I have to live at home,
because I can’t work and I can’t live on my own. I drink gallons of Gatorade,
I eat tons of salt, and I take tons of prescribed pills. I keep my weight up at
135lbs, which at 5’5 is higher than 125 like I want it to be back at. I am also
starting a cardiac physical therapy program soon, but while these all help a
bit, none make me better. Nothing makes me better. I seem to have met that
inevitable thing in life that I can't beat. Something was bound to slow me down
and prove that everyone has limitations, even me.
Now I know that sounds all
"oh woe is me" and downtrodden. Its really not. Its not meant to. Its
not like I'm giving up, I am just in uncharted territory here. I'm a lot like
my Dad. I like to fix things. I see a problem; I fix it. If I can't fix it, I
find someone who can. If no one can, it bothers me until I find something to at
least make it better. With POTS, there is no fix. No cure. There are crappy
treatments that make you feel worse at times better at others, but no real fix.
We've established that my present status is probably as good as its going
to get for a while. At least until I see Dr. Grubb in Toledo (the leading POTS
researcher and doctor). He's the next step of my plan, to see if I can find
someone who can fix it. Its just frustrating that we're going to have to wait a
year to see a doctor when your life is on hold until you get to see him. I just
never thought I'd be here, waiting by the phone for a call from a doctor in
hopes that he can give me my life back.
It kind of lights a fire up
under you. I feel this surge of desire just wanting to fix things, but have no
way to do that. I wish I could fix it; fix POTS for everyone. Make it something
that is in the history books as something people once had to deal with before
we found the cure. Wouldn't that be great.
I think its
funny when people think I'm feeling sorry for myself, although in my poor
writing, who wouldn't? I guess I don't effectively convey my feelings to print.
I don't feel sorry for myself. I am proud that I am a strong enough person to
get through this. I am very aware of the struggles I'm going through because of
POTS, and that makes me even more adamant that I want to get better. While POTS
is inconvenient and uncomfortable, its not a life sentence. It could always be
worse. Its not cancer, its not AIDS, its not going to kill me. Its something
that will test me, test my strength and will make me stronger in the end. I
truly appreciate and am grateful for every step I take. I fought for each one. You
can't be a phoenix rising without ashes.
Function of a service dog essay. This one is supposed to talk about how a service dog could help me.
When I found out that a service dog
could help me I was surprised and encouraged. I guess I had always seen service
dogs as helping blind people or people in wheelchairs, the idea that one could
help me hadn’t crossed my mind. One of the hardest things for me to do was
admit that this is something that I cannot do on my own. I’ve always been a
very independent person, I pride myself in the things I can do and have done,
but things have changed. Where once I was traveling around the world for a
study abroad, now I have trouble getting down the stairs. Where once I was able
to go on road trips alone, now I’m afraid to leave the house alone. Where once
I was able to work and go to school, now I struggle to get out of bed in the
morning. Where once I used to SCUBA dive and be a rescue diver, now I have to
come to terms with the fact that I’m the one who needs help. We’ve just run out
of options. I’ve tried various treatments for almost two years now, but none of
them have helped me enough for me to regain my independence. What’s worse is
that if we find one that works, my body changes and we need to readjust. It’s a
constant battle and a constant source of frustration. While I know a service
dog can’t fix everything, if it can help me with little things, like getting
down the stairs safely, it would be a huge improvement in my quality of life.
I
honestly still don’t know everything a service dog can or cannot do, I think
the biggest thing that a service dog could do is warn me if I’m going to pass
out. I’ve done research and know that this isn’t an exact science and it may
not work every time, but just preventing a few falls could be very helpful.
Each time I fall, I risk injuries to my head, I’ve already had countless
concussions. When I do pass out, someone shaking me can help me come to faster,
a service dog could accomplish this by licking me. My dog Lexi already does
this and it works pretty well. Once I regain consciousness, I need to try to
not panic. That may seem easy to do, but when you’re lying on the floor in a
public place with people shouting around you for ambulances and doctors, it is
hard to stay calm. If I don’t stay calm, I have a panic attack and that just
adds to the heart troubles and prolongs the time it takes for me to recover.
Right now my Mom stays with me and keeps me calm, but I’d like to one day be
able to go somewhere without her having to be there. Another thing when I faint
is that I need to slowly sit up afterwards so I won’t pass out again, but I’m
usually very weak so sitting upright without something to lean on is difficult.
If a dog had a harness for me to hold onto or could somehow brace me from
behind it would be much easier for me to recover. Also being able to have a dog
to steady myself when standing after fainting would be helpful when I’m not
near something to hold onto, this would help reduce the risk of me falling
again. One fear I have is that I will pass out somewhere unsafe like the street
or be robbed or hurt while unconscious. Having a dog there to pull me to safety
or to deter people from hurting me would give me a sense of security in a time
when I am very vulnerable.
Besides
the instances when I pass out, I think that a service dog could help me with
less crucial things as well and assist me in doing things that I cannot do
right now. I have a lot of trouble bending over and standing back up. This
means that when I drop something, it can be a struggle to pick it up. From what
I’ve read, this can be a simple task for a service dog, and will help me to
prevent fainting. Another thing is that getting up and down from a sitting
position can also aggravate my POTS, if a service dog could retrieve things for
me, it would prevent unnecessary blood pressure problems. Another thing that a
service dog could help me with would be to carry things up the stairs. I need
to hold onto the railing when climbing stairs so having a dog be able to carry
things like water bottles or laundry up the stairs would help me a lot.
Besides
the physical assistance, a service dog could help me in other ways. I wish to
regain my independence. I rely so much on my Mom, Dad and sister and I know
that while they are always happy to help me, that it adds a strain on them. There
are so many things I love about dogs. I grew up with dogs as siblings in our
house, our family has always bonded very closely with them. Dogs can ease your
mind when you’re worried with a nudge of their nose. They can make you laugh by
being goofy when you’re stressed. They can make you feel happy when you’re down
just by wagging their tails. I love my dogs very much, but being wire-haired
fox terriers, they lack the temperament and physique of a service dog for my
needs. For that, we need a new family member to help me.
I
hope in return, I will give my dog all the love and loyalty that I can. I can
provide it with a sense of purpose and be its companion for life. As with all
of the dogs we have loved, I can provide it with excellent medical care and will
attend to its needs. My girls (dogs) and I like to have “girl time” on my bed.
We all climb on my bed and snuggle, play, and eventually all end up napping
together. A service dog would be welcomed into our family. We appreciate all
the work and training that goes into such a skilled and amazing dog and would
show our appreciation everyday.
** I have taken some identifying information out.**
